The workload was a bit overwhelming in the last couple of weeks: capstone project implementation combined with clinicals. But the worst is over. 🙂
Last week was a very discouraging week. I felt very incompetent because my patients questioned everything I did, one went as far as quizzing me, some straight out rejected students in their care, and one treated me as a janitor even after telling her I’m a nursing student. I guess it was a reality check for me that I still have a lot of work to do and a lot more to learn. I know I will continue to encounter these situations even as a new nurse, so I also need to know how to respond in a positive and professional manner.
On a positive note, one of my ex-patients was able to get her liver transplant. Seeing the joy in her face and being able to share that with her and her family was by far one of the most satisfying moments that week.
This week was my last week, and it’s been the longest week EVER. I worked 4 days straight, holding on to a few hours of sleep to get through each day. I don’t know how nurses do 15 days straight! One day, I had 4 discharges and 4 admissions simultaneously, which translates to insanity, and it doesn’t help to have a VIP pt. who gets all the special attention. But thank God all of them were very pleasant patients. An 82 y.o. female pt asked if my nurse knew any hot doctors, “senior selection” of course. smh…and my nurse went along with it! pulling out pictures to show the pt. -_- in the end, we were transporting the patient for a procedure and she told us her goal was to be engaged by the time she comes back from the procedure!
Saying bye to my preceptor was really difficult. She made all the difference in my learning experience. With her, I’ve gained confidence in situations I never thought I’d have any confidence, and she was always concerned about my learning. I’m probably one of the luckiest nursing students in my class!
This journey had its ups and downs just like any other journeys in life. The ups being my preceptor, the experience I got, and an understanding of my weaknesses; down being the whole reality check, knowing and accepting that I don’t have it all together, that I’m behind in various aspects of my learning, witnessing society’s image of nursing, and doubting whether nursing is right for me or not. At this point, I don’t have all the answers together, and I didn’t expect this clinical experience to give me answers. I’m just happy that I’m one step closer to finding what I want, and with that, it’s given me a direction.